KINGWOOD — For 25 years, GriefShare has been helping people find comfort after the loss of a loved one.
Dr. Fred Conley, Pastor Jonathan Nettles and counselor Maureen Durst have been offering the 13-week program to county residents for a year.
“I was a doctor for 42 years and didn’t know this program existed. The local funeral home was excited to find out the program existed. They didn’t know about it either. I found out after my wife passed away and someone gave me a pamphlet,” Conley said. “Maureen and I attended GriefShare, and I felt called by God to do this. It was a little scary, but we took the training.”
He said each week the group begins with a 30-minute video that addresses grief-related topics. It also features people, who have experienced a loss, offering insights about how they managed their own grief.
Although the program is faith-based Durst said participating in the program doesn’t require joining a church or going to church. She said the program is not just for people who have experienced the recent death of a loved one. She said they can be experiencing grief from a loss from years back.
Nettles said sometimes people get stuck in their grief and grief is different for everyone. He said some people in the program say they felt mired, but are now doing much better.
After the video, group members spend time discussing what was presented and what is going on in their own lives. Talking with other people who are going through similar struggles brings comfort, normalizes the grief experience and offers a supportive environment to work through grief.
“Christ-based is important because some worry about where their loved one is because they weren’t believers,” Durst said. “Everyone gets a participant guide book that helps your grieving and emotional experiences, and helps you cope with the loss.
According to the website, griefshare.org, the book begins with the following.
“The phone rings, and for a brief moment you think it might be your loved one. Friends and family invite you out, but it’s easier to stay home than wear a smile. You don’t feel. The absence of your loved one stings in a million ways, but there are things you can do that will help soothe the pain.”
Conley said seeing others experiencing the same grief can help.
“It helps when you’re asking why? Why does a good person have to die or die a painful death?” Conley said. “For people to know it’s difficult for everyone, this allows you to grieve the way you need to. No one here is critical of your feelings and you don’t have to talk if you don’t want to.”
Durst said people can go through more than one round of 13 sessions and watch the videos as often as needed. She said individual accounts remain open for 30 days after the 13-week program is over. However, everyone gets to keep their workbook.
Conley said he believes grief is harder for men because society expects them to be strong and not cry or show emotions.
Nettles agreed. He said for some men, even sharing is threatening.
Conley said prior to the holidays GriefShare offers a one-time program about surviving the holidays. He said to sign-up you have to go to griefshare.org.
“It’s a big commitment,” he said. “But healing doesn’t happen overnight.”
The only cost is $20 for the workbook, but Nettles said the church has a scholarship to help pay for it.
To see a sample of the workbook and to learn more about GriefShare go to griefshare.org.
Meetings are 6-8 p.m. Tuesdays at Wesley United Methodist Church in Kingwood.
