What is it about the female species that whenever life doesn’t feel quite right, our first inclination is, “Maybe I should get bangs?”
I posed this question on social media and to my friends recently after finding myself browsing page after Google Images page of hairstyles featuring — you guessed it. The curtain kind, to be exact.
The answers, of course, ran the gamut from “Go for it!” to more than a few — and, to be fair, perfectly valid — variations of “Don’t go there.” and “OMG NO.”
But not a single person — members of the female species, all — said, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Because women here, there and everywhere — we girls, the world over — know exactly what I’m talking about.
The pull is so universal that it’s become a movie trope.
Scene 1: Lady character suffers trauma.
Scene 2: Lady character stands in front of mirror clutching scissors and a clump of hair.
Scene 3 then usually involves said lady character in really bad wig. (Why doesn’t anyone ever allow for decent wigs in the filming budget?) But I digress slightly.
Suffice to say it became a trope partly because it’s true.
So, if sister friend rolls into the office one morning with a fresh layer of fringe across the top of her face, make sure she’s OK.
She is clearly going through it.
This isn’t to say, however, that the results are always disastrous.
Sometimes it actually works out and that new style is just the ticket.
Other times, well — other times you’re stuck growing out a horizontal chunk of hair a la Emma Roberts circa 2018.
And life just went from bad to worse.
As my friend Lindsey put it:
“Do I always regret bangs at some point after getting them? Yes. I’m not a psycho. But I will eventually come back, of course. A haircut is often the only answer in times of screw this.”
Alas, it is the natural way of things.
Psychologists say the urge is simple: A need for change in the midst of troubling circumstances. A way to exert control when the universe seems hell bent on delivering chaos.
All of which makes sense.
Or maybe, you’re just bored, and bangs are cheaper than moving.
This is about where I am at the moment.
Which is why I’ve booked the first available appointment with my stylist — and why I messaged her to contact me immediately if a space frees up sooner.
Waiting all the way until April seems far too long to make a questionable decision.
Especially when it is so obviously the solution to all of my problems.
Curtain bangs, here I come!
(Growing them out, you probably won’t be far behind.)
Katie Long McDowell is the managing editor and lifestyles columnist for The Dominion Post. Email kmcdowell@dominionpost.com
