Last night I lay awake nearly until dawn, a very real pit bull snoring in my ear, a metaphorical hornet’s nest in my head.
It was just one of those times — when, no matter how hard you might try to force it to quiet down, your brain doesn’t want to stop buzzing.
You know the drill: Work stress, unfinished tasks, complicated relationships, every embarrassing moment you’ve experienced since you were old enough to be embarrassed.
In an attempt to rein it in, I started thinking about writing topics, in particular new year’s resolutions.
Given that I don’t have a hard-set goal in mind this go-’round — yes, I’d like to step up my workouts and build more muscle, but I’ve been doing that already — I’ve been considering various alternative angles to approaching 2024.
After seeing the idea online of identifying a word, rather than a traditional resolution, to focus on in the new year, I started wondering whether that could be helpful.
Then I proceeded to drive myself crazy searching my soul for one that felt right.
If I had to describe 2023 with a single noun it would be “discipline.” There were very few instances when I strayed from the mental and physical challenges I laid out for myself. Running. Diet. Work. Gym. Self-reliance. Travel. Solitude. I did what I intended to do and made it a point to accomplish it, alone.
I faced fears and tried new things and pushed through.
In fact, “push” might be an even better word as it was definitely a verb kind of year.
But in the lead up to 24, and now firmly ensconced in the first month of the fresh 12 ahead, I’ve been at a loss to pinpoint a term — verb, noun or adjective — that I feel comfortable with.
Words are my business, so where am I going wrong?
Each time I try to visualize it, my mind forms a blank. Literally.
As in, I see:
“This year, I expect / want / intend /demand / hope for _____ ”
A perfect picture of that empty line pops up with every effort. So that is what I choose. My word for the year isn’t a word at all. It’s ______.
And I will give myself permission to fill it in as I go.
Right now, it might be “realistic,” based on current situations. Later, it could be “confidence,” “possibility,” “compromise” or “persevere” — depending on what life dishes out.
This isn’t me trying to let myself off the hook. After a year’s worth of discipline, determination becomes habit. This is no Get Out Jail Free card for self-improvement or growth. The push will continue.
It’s just a bit of grace in a crazy world as this next little slice of future unfolds.
Happy New Year, everyone. May it be kind to us all.
Katie Long McDowell is the managing editor and lifestyles columnist for The Dominion Post. Email kmcdowell@dominionPost.com.
