We live in an increasingly polarized society.
Climate advocates vs. climate deniers. Pro-gun vs. anti-gun. Immigration control vs. open borders. Blue. Red.
And of course: Candy corn supporters vs. the Never Corns.
While my role as an objective editor precludes me from divulging where I fall on most of these issues, the last one is pressing enough to warrant an admission, given the times we’re in.
So I’m just going to get this out of the way:
I am a fan. Particularly of the ones with the brown, rather than yellow, bottoms.
It’s a controversial stance, I realize.
But I’m a controversial kind of gal.
Or more accurately, a gal who enjoys her sugar, mostly regardless of its form.
As with other divisive flavors I like — black licorice, olives, bullet-proof coffee sans sweetener or cream — I want to understand some folks’ resistance.
I mean, I know candy corn is basically tiny spears of oddly textured corn syrup.
But, as with those other flavors I mentioned, I can’t get the hate. To me, they’re delicious.
In researching this topic — otherwise known as polling my reporters while they tried to work — the rift was clear.
A few of them admitted to a fondness for the treat, citing its hammer-to-the-head sweetness and high nostalgia factor.
Others lamented its very existence, wondering how it manages to find its way into candy dishes the world over — only to meld into a disgusting stuck mess that finally gets tossed sometime around mid-November.
Me? As with other contentious subjects, I like to think it is possible to hold multiple truths at once.
For instance, I grant that candy corn is not, in fact, conducive to candy dish use — largely because of its (delectable) sugar level. Add a little moisture, maybe a bit of warmth, and OK, you could wind up with a clump that no thoughtfully placed disposable spoon (hygiene, you know) will penetrate.
But it seems clear that this is the dish owner’s fault. Don’t go blaming the candy corn just because some secretary didn’t buy individually wrapped peppermints instead.
I will also concede the pumpkin-shaped versions are vaguely unpleasant — they are simply too fat for the consistency.
But I still stand firmly behind those traditional tri-colored triangles. No budging.
In writing this, I logged on to do a quick search of ye olde corn’s origin. Apparently, it came out in the late 1880s and was designed to resemble chicken feed — which some people would perhaps rather eat.
I also came across a recent Associated Press feature discussing this very debate, proving we intrepid reporters at The Dominion Post are not the only journos having this important, albeit difficult, newsroom “discussion.”
“Love it or hate it, feelings run high over candy corn come Halloween,” the AP headline declares. Rather unsurprisingly, their investigative efforts yielded the same type of heated responses ours did.
And as much as I would love to see more togetherness in this country, people are simply too passionate when it comes to this topic.
We’ll probably have a Purple political party before Brach’s wins over its dissenting half.
But hey, have a Happy Halloween anyway, America — whichever side of the candy aisle you fall on.
Katie McDowell is the managing editor and lifestyles columnist for The Dominion Post. Email kmcdowell@dominionpost.com.
