by Dr. Jenna Wallace and Dr. Claire Baniak
As psychologists working with young children, we are often tasked with helping parents navigate developmental milestones. They wonder when their children will walk, talk, potty train or learn to read.
Now, they ask if they should talk to their children about racial differences and racism. For parents, it is important to understand that racism is engrained in our society and impacts children before they are even born. Racism is a developmental issue.
Research shows that Black mothers are two to three times more likely to experience very preterm birth (less than 32 weeks) than non-Hispanic white mothers. The reasons behind this are complex. The stress of experiencing racism and prejudice are factors that impact their health and the health of their infants before they are even born.
By 6 months old, children are able to notice differences between people, including skin tone. Children are very observant and learn by watching others. By 2-4 years of age, they begin to develop their own thoughts about race based on what they observe and how their caregivers respond to their comments and questions. For example, if a white child sees a Black child on the playground and says, “He’s brown,” the way his parent or caregiver reacts sets the tone for future conversations — or lack thereof.
By age 12, children’s thoughts and ideas about race are usually formed and can be difficult to change. For children in West Virginia who have limited exposure to people of color or do not live in diverse areas, conversations about race may not happen often. However, Black and brown children and teenagers in West Virginia are impacted by racial discrimination and prejudice.
You may think that racism is too big an issue to talk about with children. It can be difficult to admit that you unintentionally hurt others or have had different experiences because of the color of your skin. However, racist beliefs are seeds that are planted in childhood, and they impact the development of the children who experience racism. For the sake of Black and brown children, we have to address the issue head on. Not talking about it is not the solution.
In order to help the development of our children, we have to face our own gut feelings and actions first. We need to listen to the stories and experiences of Black people and other people of color.
We should talk to our children early and often about racial differences and the experiences people have because of their skin colors. We should give them chances to play and interact with children who look different from them, read books together about Black history (and not skim over the parts about racism and slavery), teach them what it means to be an ally to Black friends and stress the importance of equality and hearing others’ perspectives and experiences.
We can make a difference in the development of our children, and we can create a safer world for children of all colors.
Dr. Jenna Wallace is a pediatric psychologist and parent of two. Dr. Claire Baniak is a postdoctoral fellow in pediatric psychology who specializes in neurodevelopment.
