End of life practices have to be changed, making closure hard
The economic impact of COVID-19 can be seen through data, but it’s also taking an emotional toll on some families in a way that can’t be measured.
“Being present with a loved one during their dying hours is one of the final acts of love,” Director of WVU School of Social Work Deana Morrow said. “People want to give comfort, say goodbye, and hold the hand of the dying person during their hours of suffering. Being present for a loved one’s death is among the most poignant rituals of life.”
However, COVID-19 and the social distancing requirements needed to fight it, robs the dying and their families of that ritual. WVU Medicine and Mon Health System have prohibited visitors except in limited cases. This goes for patients hospitalized for any number of reasons, not just coronavirus.
Even post-death rituals have been taken by the virus. On Wednesday, the BBC reported Italy banned public funerals. Locally, funeral homes have suggested restrictions such as no more than 10 people attend a graveside service.
“Holding wakes, sitting Shiva, and attending funerals are social rituals that can help honor the dead, enable people to offer public goodbye and help people comfort each other in their grief,” Morrow said. “To not engage in the traditional rituals of honoring the dead can also create guilt and social isolation among grieving survivors.”
So, how should a survivor deal with that grief and possible guilt?
There is no best way, because grieving is a highly individual experience, Morrow said.
One important thing to remember though is that COVID-19 is a unique, once-in-a-lifetime event and the restrictions are beyond an individual’s control, Morrow said.
She also suggested actively facing and dealing with the grief, reaching out to others for support through the phone or other virtual contact, online grief support groups, practicing forgiveness and acceptance, maintaining daily life and routines, talking with a grief counselor — many of whom offer virtual meetings — and if applicable, taking comfort from spiritual or religious practices.
