In my previous column, I closed by saying “thank you” to a number of people who helped me navigate my grief through the illness and passing of my beloved dog, Pops.
This week I’d like to begin the same way, and tell everyone who so thoughtfully emailed, wrote letters and even sent sympathy cards how very grateful I am. I can’t express how much it means to me that you would take time out of your busy schedules to reach out, particularly during this busy time of year.
Your kindness was indeed a gift.
Obviously, it being Dec. 22, you don’t need me to remind you all the holidays are upon us. Today marks the first day of Hanukkah, and only three shopping days left before Christmas, so no doubt you’re all feeling the craziness of the season for yourselves.
So much so, it often feels as though the term “holiday spirit” is really just code for “stress.”
And with all the pressure to buy, cook, decorate, bake, gift, receive, return, regroup, repeat, it’s no wonder the holidays can be rough for a lot of folks.
You’ll actually find two more columns in this section about exactly that (page C-5 and C-7, if you’re looking).
I know, for me, the black cloud of depression that tends to follow me around settles a bit more heavily about my shoulders this time of year, and with Pops’ death, the darkness is even more pronounced.
For those who have suffered a recent loss, or for those who miss their families, have trauma attached to the holiday, or who are otherwise in despair, it can be a pretty lonely time, indeed.
The added expectation of being merry and jolly and brimming with joy can make it worse.
Which is why I want to add my voice to the chorus of my fellow lifestyles columnists this week and urge everyone to give the only absolutely free, one-size-fits-all thing you can give this Christmas: To be kind.
Be empathetic. Be generous, in ways that don’t necessarily involve money. Be thoughtful. Be genuine and understanding and good.
Be considerate. Be humane. Be tolerant. Charitable. Compassionate.
Be apologetic for your wrongs, and forgiving of others’.
Hold doors. Give compliments. Listen instead of waiting to talk. Counsel without judgment.
Be the comfort you wish you had when you were hurting.
I promise you: If you are present, rather than simply buying presents, it will be appreciated.
Even better, it’s actually a plus if the recipient returns it.
Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, Season’s Greetings, and so many heartfelt good wishes for the new year.
Katie McDowell is a copy editor/lifestyles columnist with the most thoughtful readers on the planet. Email her at kmcdowell@dominionpost.com.
