We considered waiting until Father’s Day to share these thoughts.
But bringing up deadbeat dads then is as good as abandoning the vast majority of men who live up to their responsibilities.
Let’s be clear. Deadbeat dads represent a minority of men — about 7% — but their impact on society, especially children, is enormous. For our purposes here we are going to define a deadbeat dad as one who simply is a father who does not pay child support.
Yes, fathers who skipped out on their families may have had bad reasons or not. It’s in a word, complicated. But if they pay child support we’ll keep our opinions to ourselves because those situations don’t qualify as any of our business.
Obviously, there are exceptions to our rule, for instance, fathers who may want to support their children but are unable to do so.
Also, anyone who chooses to support his children via crime is not living up to their responsibilities, either, despite paying child support. The difference between a father trying to support his kids legally and one who simply ignores them and their needs is worlds apart.
Almost incredibly, some 34% of fathers in the United States are under an order to pay child support. Yet, less than three-fourths of their children actually receive that child support.
The reasons vary from fathers who cite they have no visitation rights to they never wanted their child. There may be no single answer to such reasoning, but settled case law on this point is definite.
As any court will point out, whether you see your kids or mistrust your ex-wife, child support and custody are issues that must be determined separately.
Yes, many preach that divorce and the demise of the traditional family is the root of so many children not having the resources they deserve. Many others will tell you that perspective doesn’t even begin to fathom the reality of today’s families.
It’s also a given some families benefit from a divorce, especially when one parent is abusive.
Our wish for Father’s Day is that more fathers take responsibility and do the right thing by their families, by their kids.
No one will tell you it’s easy or you’ll still end up with a 2019 Ford F-150, enjoy long vacations at the beach or be able to watch every game.
You still might not even be around to teach them how to ride a bike or change a tire even if you do the right thing.
But simply by getting your act together and paying child support your children will know you love them.
