Sofa Sports Association an idea this couch potato appreciates

I haven’t been involved in an organized sport since I was the manager of my junior high girls’ basketball team. So even then, the most exercise required of me was gathering the balls up at the end of practice. I was also the vice president of the ski club at my high school, but considering that during my tenure I didn’t make it out on the slopes once, I feel like that doesn’t count.

It’s exactly this sedentary track record, though, that makes me an ideal candidate for the Sofa Sports Association. Well, it would if I lived in Berlin.

Founded by Torben Bertram, the club of 25 basically sits around in pubs and bars, according to an Associated Press story.

The only thing that makes this different than my usual Friday night is that there are activities, which include “swaying back and forth, like in a beer hall; the ‘Tarzan yell’ — beating your chest with your fists and yelling; and the potato chip competition, consisting of eating a plastic cup full of chips without using one’s hands.”

Apparently Bertram was sick of all the self improvement associated with the new year, which spurred him to form the association.

“We are no regular couch potatoes because we’re not idling away our time in front of the TV,” he said. “We’ve put some serious thought into this.”

Clearly, the man has a sense of humor. But for a group dedicated to laziness, they do have more goals than you might imagine. By 2019, Bertram said he’d like to see clubs form in other countries and host a championship.

I Googled Sofa Sports Association, and some variations on the theme, to see if there’s anything like it relatively close. I figured it was unlikely and didn’t come up anything. But I’m sure that there are more than enough of interested deadbeats around to start up a chapter.

I mean, yes, this is a pretty silly concept, but I see the appeal. I’m not against bettering myself. However, the pressure to become a perfect person every January is exhausting.

In the dead of winter, it takes everything I have not to curl up in a ball and sleep until spring arrives. So, pledging to get out of the house to meet up with a group and enjoy each other’s company seems like a much more attainable goal than altering my diet, skin-care regimen and exercise habits. And if I get to eat a bunch of chips without my hands in the process, even better.

Lindsey Fleming is a writer/copy editor at The Dominion Post. Email her at lfleming@dominionpost.com.